I am not dating, but when I did, one of the things I loved most, was getting to know other humans; like-minded spirits, those I could learn from, and those I could impart knowledge to. I’ve had some dates in my life, I can tell you. We aren’t here to discuss either the story of my love life, or, the trials and pleasures of dating though. Something that humans often fail to do, is get to know themselves.
So, instead of scrolling another app, looking for another human to wander about, I’m encouraging you to get to know yourself. Twenty-Twenty gave me a real opportunity to get to know myself. Lockdown allowed me to establish all of the unnecessary tasks I had been filling my time with, because they were either, expected of me, or I felt I needed to do them to belong, to be part of, the ‘cool’ gang (whoever they may be), I suppose.
I hibernated away from the world, hitting online spaces to continue in my career path, but other times were spent alone in the house or wandering the nearby woodlands for much needed time among nature. I not only discovered more of my heritage & past, but I allowed myself to take the time to evaluate the journey to here, and it wasn’t always happy memories and peaceful time. In allowing myself to understand some of the hurts, some of the trials and challenges I have either experienced or my life has involved, I was able to formulate those fears and understand them, turn them into strengths.
I mean, that’s the beautiful thing about humans, we can become whoever we dream, we are not defined by the words of others, only by the actions we take.
Something else I was able to do, was to focus in on the passions and things in life that bring me peace, fulfillment and pure pleasure. So, only as much as you dare, this is meant to be a task of self-love, I encourage you to fall in love with yourself. Who are you, under the characteristics you portray online & in the real world, who really, are you?
I took the questions I have been asked most frequently on dates, added in a few of my own, made a coffee and called it a date…
Tell me about yourself…
What makes you unique?
I am quirky. People see this blonde girl who made her life through the beauty industry and think they have me figured. I ramble all the day long about hobbits, pixies and elves. I am obsessed with science fiction and fantasy. My mind is a world of it’s own and I dance to the beat of my own drum. I like to be different. I don’t like to live to the expectation of others, I try to not live with expectation, in doing so, you will always stand to be disappointed. Probably the fact I have so many interests and passions, it can make me hard to keep up with and I can often talk for far too long, but I love stories, those things, I think make me unique. That and my innate curiosity.
As a child my folks said I was talking as soon as I could, to anyone, about everything. As soon as I could walk I was off, never wanting to sit in the pushchair, beach walks, hill treks, I was off for adventure whenever I could. (Even once to the absolute heart-wrenching fear of my mother as I broke free and ran through a crossroad section of a road in my grandmothers seaside home town when visiting, as a toddler. A queen of chaos since 88′).
What matters to you?
My time. My well-being. It may sound a little selfish, the truth is, if I don’t care for myself, how can I care for anyone else? My tribe, they’ve got me through some tough times & whether it’s online or in the real world, the people who have supported me, matter to me. I hope their lives are balanced, peaceful and happy. Love. Love matters to me a great deal, the world always needs love, love and kindness. Scatter it everywhere, every day.
What is your life motto, or your values?
Plan and learn as though you will live forever, live each day as though it’s your last – this was handed to me on a card at high school graduation and it stuck with me. Not everyday will be magic, but you can find magic in every day. Sometimes, you find your own magic, other days, it’s bright enough to light your entire day. You have all you need, now live – an amendment to a quote from a film, but for me, it’s real. Every day you can decide how to live, sometimes little actions make all the difference, one day you realise just how far you’ve journeyed. Over the edge, over again – this line from a film struck a chord with me. I’ve been brought to breaking point at times in my life (not a tale for this date), what you realise when you survive that, is that you are stronger than you know. Life won’t always be good, it will hurt, and you’ll feel like you’ll never feel peace again, but then you’ll make it through and the sun will rise, and you’ll stand and be ready to fight again. Not all those who wander are lost – I often wander, change direction, take my own path dancing to the beat of my own drum – live the life that is natural to you. No man is an island, I like this for two reasons, one because you do not need another human to make you whole, at the same time, you are also in need of at least some companionship to be whole – life is shared. Ultimately, you are not defined by the words of others, but by your actions.
What is your spirit-animal?
My spirit animal is probably a dragon, I was born in year of the dragon. Another is Ducky the dinosaur from The Land Before Time & magically it’s the Phoenix.
My family & tribe call me little-bear, when I was a kid I would climb up my dad onto his back like a little koala bear.
If I were to have a creature for heroism & companionship, it would most certainly be a Pegasus like horsey. Y’know the She-Ra kinda deal.
I love magical things, unicorns, dragons, mermaids, Loch Ness & pixies alongside dinosaurs, aliens & alpaca’s.
I love Octopus’, Jellyfish & Stingrays.
I am fascinated by Sharks too.
I love Butterflies, Bees & Sea Turtles.
I love Elephants, Llamas, Wolves, Bears, Eagles & Hummingbirds.
I love dogs, I would love a Siberian Husky or an Alaskan Malamute. I do love Cojacks too.
I also love Fennec Foxes, Hedgehogs & Squirrels.
I love marine life & do an array of marine life impressions for my friends & tribe.
Probably could have just written, I like animals and creatures.
Ping me a coffee on Ko-Fi and I’ll show you my marine life impressions…
Tell me about your most-favorite memory?
There are lots, I am blessed to have had a good life and when it’s not been good, I’ve been supported by an incredible support network of people from my tribe. One of my favorite memories was going to Brighton for the day with my mum. She fell sick not long after that and that was the last day trip we ever had together, just me and her. It was my twenty-first birthday. The trains were all delayed, we got soaked in the rain and despite all my youthful chaos, she ensured the entire day I was happy. My family provided me a good life no matter what and I haven’t always been grateful for that, in my adult days I remind myself of that blessing, daily.
Another memory of mine was at larp. (Live Action Role Play) The stars were high in the sky. The campfire was burning bright. I was surrounded with my kin. Penny (my soul-sister) was hugging me to keep warm and the hall bard was singing tales of magic and legends to the hall tribe. There was no technology in sight and I truly felt as though I had been transported to another world entirely, at that moment, my king wandered up to the hall and sat among us, I admired him so much, he smiled, he was so kind, yet somewhat fragile and human, despite being a great warrior and a good man, people flocked to him to hear his stories, and as he sat there taking in the music, the sparks of the flames snapping in the air, I just closed my eyes and immersed myself into that moment, those minutes just felt so, entirely, complete. A moment of peace that I will never forget and a memory that I will take to the end of this lifetime.
Something I wouldn’t be able to guess about you?
Despite the blog, the career path, the passions and hobbies, I am a timid creature, maybe not among my closest tribe, but I circle the edge and listen intently in my life. I dance on the edge of reality and prefer the company of trees to buildings. I’m confident in myself and love to communicate, I would say I am more of an introvert and like natural places untouched by the hand of man.
Tell me a thing about yourself…
When I was a kid, I was running along the pavement singing ‘A whole new world’ from Aladdin at the top of my voice, with an Aladdin and Jasmine on a magic carpet toy. I did not see the impending paving slab sticking up half an inch from the rest of the pavement, I inevitably tripped falling onto my front teeth. They smashed falling to the pavement and the entire city must have heard me scream. My adult teeth grew through but even these days, I still have two milk-teeth that will likely never fall out, my adult teeth have come through almost behind them, making me, I guess, part-shark?
Tell me something I wouldn’t believe…
I am a queen of chaos. I wasn’t joking before. I have some irrational fears, but here is why.
I have had three near-death experiences in my life. The first was in my mid-twenties. I waited at a crossroad for the light to stop the cars, when it was my turn to cross, I began to cross the road. I heard the noise of screeching tyres, a horn beeping and startled, turned to see a car hurtling toward me. Speeding, the driver had noticed too late the red light, midway across the road my fight or flight kicked in and I felt my body surge forward. The lace on my walking boot caught the hook on the other boot and tripped me up. The car missed me by inches and I rolled over myself forward hitting a metal barrier where the crossing joined. I cracked two ribs and sprained my arm, I was badly bruised but luckily did not break any bones entirely.
The second and forms part of why I feel my irrational fears (no I’m not discussing them) are in fact to me valid and rational. I was previously afraid of scaffolding falling off a building and hitting me. (Too much Jonathan Creek) I was walking along a road in Southsea when my headphone popped out and hit the pavement, irritated I stopped to put it back in and readjust the position. A foot ahead of me a large scaffolding pole hit the ground vertically, I’ll never forget the noise it made as it hit the concrete and bounced before rolling to the edge of the street. Before I knew it a handful of builders had leapt from the scaffold lower levels and were rushing to me ‘you okay sweetheart?’ ‘did it hit you, are you hurt?’ ‘I’m fine’ I uttered calmly, as I turned the corner I began to shake. If my head phone hadn’t fallen out at that exact moment, I’d have been directly hit in my tracks…
The third and most recent was in a pals car, he pulled out across the empty road, crossing a cross-road junction and all I saw was the red bonnet of another car in the passenger side, his reactions were beyond fast and he slammed the breaks stopping his car dead in the middle of the road. The red car must have been doing 100mph as it came screeching up the hill, they’d never have stopped. We were inches from it hitting my side of the car. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t stop.
The one fear I will share, is that I have a fear of a tornado spawning over where I am stood or walking. The chances are beyond minimal, but then again, the above.
Who inspires you most in this life?
My dancer artist mother for encouraging me to listen to my spirits desires and to let that energy flow through me, for encouraging me to dance. My scientist astronomer father for inspiring me and having my back, always. For holding me when I was broken and for supporting me while I hold those I love. For teaching me about the stars and encouraging me to understand the beauty of the cosmos. For taking me hiking and inspiring me to find nature, climb mountains and wander the rolling hills of the world. Amelia Earhart for daring to fly. Valentina Tereshkova for daring to reach the stars. Queen Elizabeth, for being, well a queen (but so much more, a blog post sometime more, even.), Ada Lovelace (the first human to create an algorithm intended for a computer, a genius ahead of her time, a woman.) Col Chris Hadfield (commander of the International Space Station.), JRR Tolkien for creating a world for me to lose myself in. Those in the world who consistently are good people despite the hurts they experience.
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Who is on your playlist?
I am lucky to be a child of music, music was found in my family home and anything from classical to rock, ska to pop, folk to fantasy can be found on my playlists. I have a definite crush on 80’s tunes, celtic-punk & anything Tolkien themed.
How would you describe yourself?
Resourceful, Resilient, Kind, Tiny – some may even say pixie-sized.
What is the last show you binged?
Aha. I love a good murder mystery. I’ve watched all the episodes of Miss Marple, Poirot, Jonathan Creek, Rosemary & Thyme. Rosemary & Thyme was the last show I binge watched. I have been on the look out for other shows I would enjoy.
What star-sign are you?
Taurus, I am a fair bit like my reading would tell you too. Fiercely loyal, passionate, likes the comforts and luxurious things in life (I can be humble too, if I’m honest, good coffee, snuggly bedding, good food & clothes made of fine fabrics are things I appreciate.)
What makes you laugh?
Stories, I like stories generally. The people I like most are the people with stories. The chapters of my life have led to many stories. Word-play. Oh do I love word play. In a supermarket with friends I laughed hysterically at an ale can with the slogan ‘tropic like it’s hot’ and word-play is a good way of making me giggle if I am in a less than fine mood.
If you enjoyed this date with me, you can learn more about me in the FAQ space on the blog. If you’d like to join me on my curiosity journey of this extraordinary, ordinary life, you can follow my 101 in 1001 challenge.
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